Artichoke soup. I choked on it

I am increasingly confident in the kitchen…and with too much confidence comes cockiness. This has resulted in a number of failures of late. Some embarrassing and some down right frustrating.

I recently dined at FOG, one of my favourite restaurants in the Chapel Street area. It is just so stylish and cool but without the snobbery of the white table cloths. On the specials menu was artichoke soup – which I ordered and enjoyed so much I didn’t even notice when I began to lick the bowl. Whoops.

Having loved this dish, I decided I would make this soup and have bucket loads of it for the rest of the week.

I looked up a simple recipe for artichoke soup online to get the basics. Artichoke – check. Stock – check. Onions, butter, the usual – check.

What I failed to ‘check’ was what sort of artichoke. I didn’t even know there was more than one kind. Prior to the soup my only other experience with artichoke was the type in a jar that you put on a pizza or have on an antipasto plate.

Master chef at home. Not an Italian cook, though

I'm very proud of myself - I managed to cook something from the MasterChef cookbook D gave back when I liked the show (season 1).

Why hadn't I cooked one of the marvelously impressive recipes before, I hear you ask? Because almost every recipe involves a bunch of expensive bespoke ingredients that you will surely only use once.

Granted, the recipe I chose did see me enter every supermarket and food store in Armadale in search of Verjuice. But at least there was just one such ingredient.

So I chose gnocchi. Why? It isn't exactly the easier choice - and it is a major commitment to make on a Tuesday night. But quite simply, it looked delicious.

The recipe had been a challenge to contestants from a chef. I forget who but that's not important. What is important to highlight here is that - to my surprise - I succeeded. Not vilified by the book pretentiousness. Not beaten down by the hours in the kitchen and the realization that I did not have the potato purée thingamabob the recipe called for. Not intimidated by cooking green prawns for the first time. Not deterred by the intricate details of the method.

100 foods to eat now. Or before you die. Or whenever

Despite diets and celebrity magazines telling us (well, alluding to) that we shouldn't eat, I came across 100 foods to try before you die.

Why should you try these?

I'm really not sure why Baklava or Palenta would be on anyone's bucket list, but very interesting that someone dedicated an afternoon to putting the list together anyway.

If you tick off all 100 you get a prize. That prize? Eclectic taste buds.

1. Abalone
2. Absinthe
3. Alligator
4. Baba Ghanoush
5. Bagel and lox
6. Baklava
7. Barbecue ribs
8. Bellini
9. Bird’s Nest Soup
10. Biscuits and gravy
11. Black Pudding
12. Black Truffle
13. Borscht
14. Calamari
15. Carp
16. Caviar
17. Cheese fondue
18. Chicken and waffles
19. Chicken Tikka Masala
20. Chile Relleno

Hunting for wine in the Hunter Valley

I recently returned from a few days in the Hunter Valley. Yes darling, I really am that posh.

Rolling hills? Check

Idyllic weather? Check

Poshness? Double check

Fresh, crisp wines and oodles of the famed Semillon? Not so much

There are some beautiful wineries in the Hunter Valley and there are some special wines and a lot of experimentation going on with new grape varieties and old wine making methods.

There are also a lot of snobs, a lot of tourist traps and a lot of overpriced crap for sale.

We had to sift through a lot of wineries to find something special – and there were just a few.

But for the most part, the cellar doors were operated by high school dropouts who knew nothing about wine or customer service.

At the Misteltoe Winery, a lady behind a ‘bar’ was serving wine tastings out of a pump bottle and charging $5. There was a reserve Chardonnay going for $60 a bottle...and they wouldn’t let us taste it because it wasn’t in their squirty bottle.

Next stop – Tyrrell’s. The lady here didn’t even want to serve us, she ignored us until she absolutely had to ask what we wanted. “A taste please.” Reluctantly, she poured some $8 chardonnay that tasted like it had been stored in cling wrap.  

There was another one – that I can’t even remember the name of – where they ignored us so severely that we walked out. We were the only people there and they couldn’t even muster a ‘hello’.

But they weren’t all bad.

Colour me Autumn

When I think of Autumn I think of coloured leaves and pumpkins. Sitting under a blanket a night and wearing a cardigan to work.

I think of fresh homemade soups, roast Sunday dinners and wearing socks to bed.

I think of parsnips and how unfair it is that in Australia they are so expensive. I think of yellow squash (the vegetable – not the cordial) and I think of lamb. A nice, juicy rack.

Currently I am working on a campaign educating Australians about fresh Autumn produce and why it’s good to buy fruit and vegetables that are in season.

People then ask, what is autumn produce?

We’ve become some efficient – us 1^st worlders – at having whatever we like, whenever we like, that we’ve dumbed ourselves down so much that we don’t know that strawberries only grow at certain times of the year.

In the UK, everything was imported to make sure no one missed out on their summer fruits in winter.

But you can be forgiven for not knowing that turnips only grow in winter. What you can’t be forgiven for is raising kids that believe vegetables come from the frozen food aisle.

Why is it good to eat seasonal produce? Because it's fresh, not sprayed with preservatives and most likely not frozen out the back of the supermarket.

Another campaign I recently worked on saw us send a farmer to schools to teach kids that vegetables are good for you and guess what? You can grow them in your own backyard.

How do you get them into the packets then? I hear your kids ask...

Oreo. The original chocolate sandwich biscuit

There is a lot to ponder in this modern day world. But the most pressing question this week is why have Oreos been so popular for so long?

Tuesday marked 100 years of Oreo. Happy Birthday Oreo. You’ve come a long way. You’ve not changed...much. You’re still a chocolate sandwich biscuit.

One of the reasons the cookie is so popular – one smart academically minded person says in the US – is that it “allows people to bring their own personal style to eating”.

And who could forget the ad starring that kid with the cute dog, an Oreo and a glass of milk? “First you twist it, then you dunk it then you lick it...” or something like that.

The dog got to drink the milk.

Of course we all bring our own style to food – even more so than we do our clothes, hair and make-up. But is this really why we like Oreo?

Yo! Fatso in Victoria - join the Ministry

Guess what? Victorians are fat. Why? We love our take-away coffees, our long lazy breakfasts, our fads and trends (aka macarons and whoopee pies...cake pops!), wineries and we have a million cafes and restaurants – so many, in fact, that we could eat at a different one every night for a year and we’d still not have been to them all.

What are we doing about our indulgent Melbournian/Victorian culture? 

We’re bringing in a top UK chef with down and out accent to show us where vegetables come from.

Jamie Oliver (and I do admit I LOVE him) is "chuffed to bits" to bring his crusade against obesity to Victoria – why? Because the Vic Government appears to be paying him for it.

Jamie’s Ministry of Food is “a world-first program” in which the government will target 14 communities - including the most overweight, unhealthy and disadvantaged - with eating and exercise programs.

But it doesn’t sound all bad – some English bloke telling you your fat. If you are lucky enough (or unlucky enough?), you’ll get shopping and cooking lessons, walking groups, canteens and cafe overhauls!

Now think English grub...I'm thinking:

Roast dinners on Sunday

Bacon sarnies before work

Flippin' heck. What happened to pancakes?

This time last week it was Pancake Day. What is Pancake Day and where the hell did it come from?

The proper name for it is Shrove Day -although some actually call it Fat Tuesday, which I love because it implies you can eat loads – and guess what? It’s all about Lent.

Pancakes are eaten the day before Ash Wednesday as they are made out of the main foods available (sugar, fat, flour and eggs), the consumption of which was traditionally restricted during the ritual fasting associated with Lent.

Lent is a religious thingamabob where you fast or give something up as a form of penitence.

So Pancake Day is the feast before the famine. Weird hey?

Valentine's Day - which cliche are you?

Oysters on your shopping list today? How about chocolate and strawberries? Champagne - French of course!

Or perhaps you've opted for a set menu and a 2 hour seating from 7pm at a 'nice' restaurant for February 14.

On such a day as it is, how do you stay original?

Perhaps you choose not to do anything. But then again that is a cliche in itself as it means you'll probably end up like a thousand other couples and have an argument due to your lack of planning and gift- even though she/he made you swear not to get anything.

What will you do? Cook? Clean for a change? Wear matching underwear? Sky dive?

I like Lindt's idea - simple and delicious.

How to enjoy wine, darling

We were enlightened last night by two things – the $125 bill for a nice drop of Shiraz and then an explanation by the chef of how wine should be enjoyed, which was not knowing the price.

There are three types of diners he said:

Þ     The price watcher

Þ     The brand follower

Þ     The appreciator

The price watcher will order a glass or bottle of wine based on the cheapest drop available. This is usually the ‘house’ wine. These people don’t care if they are having a Shiraz or a merlot – or worse, the bits and pieces from various wineries in various areas stomped on by tourists and then bottled in a factory with too much light.

The brand follower will sit down and always ask for the Rosemount or the Lindemans. People love brands and they have deep and meaningful relationships with them that they don’t think twice about. They have found their faith and stand by it. Even if the wine is disgusting or has been sold to a multi-national with no habitual TLC.

The appreciator on the other hand wants to sit at the bar and taste a few drops before deciding on what tickles their fancy. Going out for dinner is as much about the wine as it is the food. They’ll base their choice on a grape variety, a vintage or a recommendation. They won’t ask the brand or the price. They will indeed enjoy the wine, savouring every last drop, licking their lips and raising their glass to the light to survey the hue.

Which are you?